Parenthood in the South African context means different things to different families. It is not simply giving birth to a child or nurturing a child that is biologically yours. We have many different kinds of families in Mzansi, step-parents, co-parents, culturally your sister’s children are your own children and the same with your brothers. We are mamncane, mamas, aunts, rakgadis, mme’s, nanas and many many more to many children in our lives.
Whatever your family cocktail may be, children will challenge you. Challenge your habits, your norms and the walls that you have put them in. Often my son will ask the question, “why?” and I may try to feed him some simple answer, he will interrogate me until he is satisfied with the reasoning. So, through our kids, we can learn ourselves in a different way. We can learn about our shortcomings, our faults and more so, our strengths. We can see our own behaviours in the children who are always around us.
One funny thing is that If I have one doughnut, he must also get one doughnut, not half a doughnut because he is a little person. The fundamental rules of sharing. He is not half a person even though he is little.
In South Africa where the majority of women have children young, teens and young adults who are still in transition themselves need a village to assist. However, there are things that no one else can do for your children but yourself. You are the mother and no one else can be. So trust your instincts, trust the nurturing process inside of you and raise the child. Yeah sure, you learn along the way and make mistakes but as long as it comes from love and a spirit of learning, you will be fine.
What are some of the lessons your kids have taught you?
