Am I the only one who is constantly writing lists and ticking off things in my head? It can be a random shopping list. After all, you have to quickly run to the shop cause you are hosting family over the weekend or you are hosting girl’s night on Friday. It could be a list about a work function, where you volunteered to get the décor. Whatever the case might be, one is always in a state of planning, showing up, pulling up and mostly failing. Yes, failure is a constant result when you are doing life the correct way.
And we know this… One can easily forget to get the salad dressing, attach the correct document in an e-mail or send the kid to school even if they have not quite recovered from that flu. It is human nature to be in an imbalance, to be in a constant state of discomfort and wondering ‘what’s next on my list’ or to feel like prioritising self is not a real priority. Which it should be.
Women are constantly asked this question, “hawema how do you cope?”,
Haibo, I do not cope… I survive. I live every day doing the best I can with what is possible for me at the time. And if you got the wrong e-mail attachment or have to have a dry salad (cause I forgot the dressing) that is just the consequence. Life is such a clunky process and getting 80% of things done is a blessing most days.
You are a management-level woman in corporate South Africa (a jungle really), mother of 3 (two kids and a partner), avid reader, wine drinker, socialite and Netflix binger. Or you are a single lady responsible for herself, her work (which people will add since you have no family), plant mom and hustler. Imbalance is definite because there are silent matters that always need to be addressed like exercise and gym, preparing meals, commuting, smoothie making, counselling friends and family, and doing you. In the same 24 hours, you also want to study more or turn your hobby into a business side hustle. Aybo the hair, nails and grooming also require appointments and time.
My thing is, let us rather not focus on keeping the balance and instead embrace the imbalance. It is only natural. Please be kind to yourself (especially those perfectionists) and do what you can, with what is available to you at the time. Another thing, do not mourn a failure forever. Do not be disproportionate.
Yours in imbalance
I am alone for the 1st time last year with my 2 KIDS(have always had the privilege of family helping out as we stayed home with my mother and sister)
I am overwhelmed by everything – Teenage KIDS(school Updates, life Skills Teachings,instilling principles,responsibilities, chores); WORK(new Job); COOKING;Chores.
I feel guilty for taking me time